Be A Better Person & 12 Indispensable Mindful Living Tools That Help

There are many things a person can to do be a better person, but it's not always easy. Today, we have twelve tools to help you live mindfully and to be a better person (and to live with lowered stress, be happier and more awesome).

Be A Better Person & 12 Indispensable Mindful Living Tools That Help

Whether it's stress from work or your spouse, anger from that guy you cut you off in the express lane on your way to work, or even that girl in the other cubicle who keeps tapping her foot constantly … you will eventually need a way to let off some steam and then a way to manage everything. While you cannot control other's poor driving or foot habits, you can control yourself.

Yes, you can control your anger, your anxiety and even your stress levels. It's all a matter of perception and learning to be in control. Of course, this is much easier said than done, but we all have to start somewhere. And for most of us, including me, that's at the beginning.

Let me preface all of this that I am by no means any expert on meditation nor self-control. But what I do know is that what's outlined here has certainly worked for me to:

  • Have less stress overall.
  • Think before I react and speak.
  • Improve my mental and physical health.
  • Improve my marriage.
  • Free up my mind to focus better.
  • Focus on my personality and how I could become a better man, husband and friend.
  • Get more important things done in life, and less useless garbage in my daily life.

And probably more that I don't know about yet.

Being a better man (or woman) isn't all about being a kinder and gentler person nor just about “turning the other cheek.” It's being a fundamentally better person throughout. This means having better inner voice/dialog, being in better physical condition and only then being a better person outward. Though, here is the big AHA moment: once you are a better person inside you'll naturally evolve into a better person towards others.

The big question then is, how do you start becoming a better person? What you have to realize first is that there is no one correct answer. It's different for everybody, though the one constant for everyone is that it takes time. There is no magic switch to flip or button to push to magically make it all better. It's a process. The sooner you start the better you'll be in the future.

Thankfully starting is simple. May or may not be easy, but at least it's simple. It all starts with two things:

  1. Learning to breath
  2. Being aware

“Learning to breath?! But I am already breathing you!” you tell me. Well, you are inhaling air and then exhaling it as a biological function yes. That you are doing. But you're not truly breathing until you're able to use it as a tool for control, a tool for stress management and as a part of simply being happy.

See, breathing is an essential part of being alive right? So why is it something we ‘just do' and take no pleasure in?

The other week, we were in California and I had the pleasure of having some free time to just sit and breath on Route 1 (the costal drive near San Francisco). That's all I did. I sat on a rock on a cliff with my face to the setting sun and just breathed. It's those moments that make you realize how amazing it is to be alive, to simply be able to breath and live life.

That moment then brings me to point #2: being aware. I became aware of how awesome life is. How spectacular nature is and in all its glory we humans are allowed to live. I was aware of all the technology, development and everything that allowed me to be there. It was a rather humbling experience. I'm not saying that you have to go out and sit by the coast, but in every day life you'll be surprised how much joy and how much better you life can be by simply being aware of things.

How does this work in real life you ask? Simple. You slow things down and you take control of your life. If you're in a busy high tempo business networking event: throw the rules into the wind and stop ‘speed networking'. Become aware of the great people around you and stick to those you care. Be aware of their needs, your needs and what's going on.

Being aware simply means being concious of the things you do, noticing others (and their actions & reactions) and even simply noticing the majesty of the place you are in. Noticing the small great things around you, by the way, is a great conversation starter and a great way to keep things moving forward.

In meditation terms: simply be. Be happy that you exist.

To help you along your journey, here are 12 tools to help you be better (from the ZenHabits.com blog http://zenhabits.net/toolset/):

  1. Meditation :: the tool for gaining control of your inner self.
  2. Be Awake :: notice you are alive and gain power through this.
  3. Watch Urges :: when you are awake, you'll also start to notice your habits.
  4. Watch Ideals
  5. Accept People & Life As They Are
  6. Let Go of Expectations
  7. Become OK with Discomfort :: Not everything is perfect in life. Learn to expect things how they are and be happy with it.
  8. Watch Your Resistance
  9. Be Curious
  10. Be Grateful
  11. Let Go of Control
  12. Be Compassionate

I highly recommend you read the full post by ZenHabits.com at: http://zenhabits.net/toolset/.

Fellow readers, what do you do to take control of your lives?